Journal of a Gekkoukan High School Student (Persona 3 Parody)

{Pretty much I've been playing Persona 3 FES for a while now, and I wanted to make a little joke journal of the character I had thought of making fun of my experiences with the game}


{The Journal of Takuma Ouroboro}
May 27, 2009

Got a phone call. Kaz wanted to hang out on Sunday. Decided to accept, moments later Kenji called and also wanted to hang out. For some reason although I only meet some people for even less than two minutes, Evening rolls in right after I meet them and I'm forced to decline his offer.


-Sunday

Hung out with Kaz. As usual he was in his "I'm fine, even with my knee injury" self. Cracked a joke, we were amused. However, that didn't increase my Social Link strength. Later remembered because I saw him I couldn't shop on the Sunday Shopping Channel. Asshole.

March 30, 2009

Found more of that High Cut Armor that Yukari is wearing. She looks like a bikini Power Ranger of some sort, I continue to stare at her breasts when I wait for my turn to attack, which usually never comes because Junpei is constantly getting blasted in the face with his weakness which EVERYONE seems to have. Useless ass. He's had to bail 4 fights now, getting tired of him, even if he his comic relief. Weather was warming up, decided to ditch fashionable jacket.

June 1, 2009

That kid wearing the black and white pajama jump suit thing appeared in my bedroom again sitting on my bed. Woke me up, that kid is really starting to creep me out. Tells me full moon is a week from now. About time too; haven't been able to progress in Tartarus the shadow tower because of a barrier that won't give way until the moon and obligatory fight I'm too much of a silent mute to tell people about (I think its funny being the one who knows while they're all "WAIT, IT WAS A FULL MOON WHEN THIS HAPPENED LAST TIME!")

Also, some girl disappeared and one was found unconscious in front of school. Rumors of ghosts spread about. Could that be you, Mr. Thade?


June 3, 2009

Because we're much stronger (and because I'm an experience whore), we split up like Scooby Doo to keep them from my leveling I MEAN cover more ground.

So many damn short swords...Its like some kind of RPG where I keep killing these shadows and they're dropping all these weapons. I don't even know where I'm storing this stuff since I can change my weapons in the middle of my classroom. I'm also wondering if people can smell the 5 packets of Rancid Gravy I picked up last month I haven't tossed.

June 4, 2009

Went out with that girl Yuko again. Other girls mistake me for her boyfriend, I tell her I don't really care, she somehow took it offensively but still is getting intimate feelings with me. People always get the wrong idea when I don't mean things so bluntly.

June 5, 2009

Hung out with Kenji after school. Once again he continues to rave about marrying that teacher he's got a crush on even when he's still jailbait himself. I tell him what he wants to hear, even if I don't believe it; doesn't matter as long as my Magician arcana kicks ass. Was really tempted to eat his food as he stood there staring into space not paying attention.

June 6, 2009

Remembered new movies were playing at the movie theater. Saw the Evil Dead Trilogy in a marathon. I feel myself getting braver with every movie I see, as well as learning some new battle catchphrases ("This...is my BOOMSTICK!" or "Yo, she bitch!" *loads gun!* "Let's go!)

June 7, 2009

Went to the bad side of town with Yukari and Junpei. Junpei got punched in the stomach and fell instantly (apparently he can get stabbed, crushed, and blown up several times when we're fighting, but a normal street punk will f*** him up with one punch). Saved by that weird scarf dude, told us about rumors of a ghost. Do I believe it? Well, we've been killing all the ones we've seen by shooting ourselves in the face repeatedly, so I ain't 'fraid of no ghost! (I saw those movies too. Awesome stuff!)

After that BS I went straight to the dorm and to the mall where I sang "Beat a Nail With Your Hammer" from BlazBlue while striking my Bang poses. I feel so much braver and am no longer timid; I guess looking like a crazy douchebag on a karaoke stage really does make you feel like you have a pair!

June 8, 2009

We snuck into the high school to save some girl who got trapped by these asshole girls and got lost in Tartarus. Was separated by groupies, still managed to fight better than them all by myself. We met the girl, found Yukari and Mitsuru attacked by bigass boss guys that looked unfittingly like robots (these shadows manifest themselves into whatever they want, right? Kinda like The Thing? (Damn I gotta lay off the horror flicks!)). The girl we saved just so happens to have sixth sense and can tell us their changing weaknesses, and although my friends told me it was a tough fight, I hardly call us curb stomping our downed foes six times a hard fight. Went right to bed after that, even though this wasn't nearly as tiring as the monorail mission...or as cool.

Around the first days of June

Mitsuru joined our party. Now this leaves me the choice to remove someone from the previous 4 team party I don't want. I immediately chose Junpei because he's a useless douchebag. She has ice, which means we by default have all the enemy weaknesses, but I'm still the one who switches at least twice a fight. She really annoys me, though, saying things like "You've improved" when I hit a weakness like I sucked the whole time. Thanks a pantload, bitch.

...then again, it makes me really glad I didn't sell that High Cut Armor. Now we've got two hot Power Ranger looking chicks, and although I hate her mood, at least she's got a sweet ass!

June 10 or so

Kenji and I hung out. Saw horror movies as usual, he zoned out. The teacher he has a crush on was avoiding him because everyone knows he wants to get in her pants, and he decided he was going to move where she was being reassigned. We eventually spied and found her talking to her fiancee. Kenji cried, I tried to comfort him (although let's face it, he's kind of a moron for thinking it would work).

June (I forget, but it was a Sunday)

Bought a purse from the Sunday program. I feel like a stalker >___> Played an MMO, my partner maya was drunk. Oh joy...

June 13

DAT ASS!

June 15

Next block of Tartarus is going way too well. Leveling up like crazy because I keep crushing doods before they even get to strike. I've practically mastered getting the advantage like a Spy from TF2. I had to kill snakes for one of Elizabeth's requests: SORRY MY QUEEN!!!!! At least I'm finding tons of top-of-the-line weapons for free in casual chests. I swear this place must be cornering a market or something.

June 16 {DATES FIXED}

The culture clubs had some students transfer out and I could join them. There was art, music, and photography. Photography I don't have a camera and the band was obsessed with classical music (no rock bands?! Some music group) so I decided to join Art. Fuuka just so happens to be in this club too, and I met some overly polite dood who gave me a Social Link to power the Fortune Arcana.

June 17

After school, I unloaded ALL the weapons I had found in Tartarus. Officer Kurosawa didn't seem to question how I walked into the mall with 8 broadswords, 12 rapiers, and 4 longbows, didn't care since I got 30,000 yen for the lot.

After that, I went out with Elizabeth since she wants to explore our world more. She wanted to explore the Iwatodia train station. GOOD GOD that was a mistake. Aside from her walking down the up escalator thinking that was the proper way to do it, we ate at EVERY DAMN RESTAURANT in the place. For a thin girl, she can F***ing eat more than Jughead, Taokaka, and Kirby rolled into one. On the way back to the Velvet Room, she commented that I started looking sluggish after the 7th meal.

Newsflash Elizabeth: I'M NOT A BLACK HOLE FROM CRAZY HOUR

One seriously bad case of heartburn and several trips to the restroom later, I managed to return to school for art club. So APPARENTLY I can talk to Kenji for 3 minutes and it'll be nightfall, but I can eat at about 12 bloody restaurants with a glutton and it'll still be sunny. Art was fun, but I think people were constantly staring at my furry and snake girl tickling art. I knew joining this club would be a mistake; I shoulda stuck to being a kleptomaniac.

June 20

Apparently there's a website for revenge where if you type the name of someone, they'll get injured or die soon. I can't help but feel I've seen this in a manga or anime somewhere, but it may just be me.

June 25

Met some drunken monk in a bar. He was a rather nice down to earth dood, and he gave me a new Social Link. Woohoo!

June 28

OHMYGOD! I HAD...THE BEST...PEE...EVER! I went in the bathroom and I freaking exploded with energy when we went to Tartarus, dodging attacks and scoring crits with my bare hands. YEAH, I'M THE JUGGERNAUT, BITCH!

July 1

Apparently exams are coming up, but this contrasts with the full moon in about 4 days. Fortunately I discovered studying before I go to bed is pointless because when I go to the shrine when I feel Great, my Academics shoot up much faster, only at the cost of 100 Yen. So basically I guess what life is trying to tell me is "Screw studying the hard way, pee then go to the shrine and pray real hard to become smart!

Sadly since movies change each month, I don't get to see any more horror flicks j___j Oh well, at least new stuff may be worth it.

July 2

Talked to the elderly couple at the bookstore. Helped the cynical old coot find his wallet, which was soon turned in by a most likely gay French foreign exchange student who eyes me creepily while smiling and fanning himself, saying people call him Bebe. I don't know much about how my Social Links hit their peak, but I hope I don't end up with this guy scoring me >___< I'll take that emo betch Yuko anyday, at least she's a girl!

July: Night of the full moon

So we finally set out to defeat the shadow that's been attacking couples. Yukari bitched about how she's coming no matter what, which is great since I stopped neglecting her useless wind type arse and leveled her up some. As we set out for the sex hotel the attacks were going down, we found a Heirophant type and crushed it. I KNEW something was wrong if this was attacking couples, and suddenly when I looked into the mirror of a large room we were in.

Later I woke up on a bed in a completely different room and heard the shower running. My inner conscious was telling me I wanted to have sex, and DESPITE THE FACT I WANTED TO, MY BETTER CONSCIOUS COCK BLOCKED ME.

...and that's when I saw Yukari naked. She just noticed me as she stepped out of the shower and slapped me in the face. Sadly when she got out she was wearing her uniform, which made me sad, but we had a mission.

Blablabla, we won. Junpei got pissed that I was the appointed leader who did it all again.

The last weeks of July

Apparently we're going to Yakushima to go on a vacation compliments of our squad's task manager. Bad puns aside, that's a nice thing of him. Junpei finally put his envy aside and made up with me.

Yakushima trip: 4 days.

The trip sucked, we got a robot to join us.

Full moon of August

Fought a new shadow. Apparently some douchebag guys want to stop us from destroying the dark hour by defeating the shadows and we fought a tank in the middle of an abandoned military base. Common sense tells us to use the damn cannons and explosives that are still armed, but NOOOOOO my teammates never thought of that.

Apparently a dog managed to defeat the shadows and we adopted it. They even made a collar that lets it use his persona. Its got Cerberus, and now the dog scares me.

{August: Date unknown}

We reached the top of the block of the tower and entered a fight. I took Akihiko, Yukari, and Mitsuru with me, BUT THEY ALL FREAKING SUCK. Yukari spent half the fight standing there skipping her turns, and when I was healing so they'd attack they would keep healing each other. IDIOTS! I know the thing has a barrier that protects it from all attacks but ice, but FOR GOD'S SAKE AT LEAST HEAL OR BUFF US! After a very long and agonizingly boring and painful fight, we won and I wanted to punch everyone except Mitsuru in the face. If I didn't have healers and chose Junpei, Koromaru the dog, and Aigis the robot, we would've been screwed.

(The joke is I did the first fight with the three offense characters and they skipped their turns with me being the only attacker. I committed suicide >___>)