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Saints Row: The Third

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1Saints Row: The Third Empty Saints Row: The Third on Sat Sep 03, 2011 4:59 am

Already a huge fan of Saints Row 2, when this announcement was made we pretty much caused another universe to appear we were so happy...suffice to say our thought processors immediately started to resemble that of our evilly snickering mentor Eliv Thade that's our current icon.

If you aren't familiar with it, Saints Row is a sandbox crime game not unlike Grand Theft Auto (or at least the FUN UNREALISTIC ONES) where you're a member of a street gang known as the Third Street Saints who were brought together to end the gang violence as a result of three gangs raging war across the city of Stilwater. After defeating them, the main protagonist starts having grand dreams of owning the city himself and is blown to hell on a boat.

About five years later he wakes up in prison and escapes to see the city changed; the city was renovated by a small brand of clothing company Ultor that became immensely rich with rebuilding the cracked up Saints Row District and pretty much all of Stilwater, three new street gangs arriving after the Saints fell apart. Wanting to own the city once again, the Protagonist (unnamed through the games) becomes the new leader of the Saints and goes on a large take down of the other gangs, taking down the corrupt leader of Ultor and effectively being the boss he wanted to be on top of everything.

Now even more years later, The Saints are pretty much celebrities and a household brand name with their own branded merchandise such as clothing, champagne, even a Saints Row movie they're making in the game. However, old habits die hard as they attempt to rob a bank and find themselves caught up in a threat posed by a multinational gang called the Syndicate who attempt to completely take their operations and profit. Deciding to fight back, the Protagonist sets up shop in their home city of Steelport and thus begins the carnage to take them down, a new government assault group known as STAG being sent out to prevent the gangs who have millions of dollars to use to kill each other from tearing the city apart.

What really struck us about the games was that they were flat out guilty pleasure fun. In no other game were you allowed to make, oh say, Smooth Criminal Michael Jackson and team up online with Heath Ledger Joker to...oh...throw satchel charges on old ladies then throw the old ladies into a police station and blow it up, escaping with Michael Jackson doing a handstand on a biplane flown by the Joker. In short; it's crazy ass over the top fun that in no ways takes itself seriously. Tons of activities such as fight clubs, protecting celebrities by throwing their violent and annoying fans off rooftops, into trains, whatever's handy, to performing Insurance Fraud by jumping into vehicles and defying the laws of physics by steering yourself in mid-air after getting nailed by a semi truck and flying over fifty feet in the air to slam into another car and rack up more cash.

The new one coming out, Saints Row: The Third, is going to be INSANE. Even more customization and insane activities, a bunch of new moves and ways to mess around, and just overall insanity going all over the place and encouraging you to do whatever you want in the most creative ways you can. Fighting a gang consisting of Mexican luchadores with grenade launchers by shooting yourself out of a man cannon car as your friend flies in on a hoverbike mounted with a laser machine gun? Bet yer arse it's there.

If you're like some of the folks who say "This game is too unrealistic" or "it's so corny it's gonna suck", then you're missing the point; the point isn't to be realistic like every other game is trying to be, it's trying to be OUT OF IT'S F***ING MIND. Y'all can have fun pretending to be enjoying taking yer fat arse cousin out to play darts after 50 phone calls, we're gonna have fun getting into large gun fights and doing insane side missions that aren't possible in real life...because after all, isn't escaping realism part of why we enjoy gaming? Definitely getting this sucker when it comes out release day ^___^

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