100 Thing to Say to Outsmart Generic Guards When Infiltrating a Place

Dunno, just a fun thing we thought up when we were playing a game and it jokes about how dumb the guards are, giving it a "Trivial" difficulty rating.

1. OVER THERE! INTRUDERS! STOP THEM!
2. Hey, nice [weapon]. Can I see it?
3. Look behind you, a three-headed monkey!
4. Hey, I was hoping to get a job as a guard. Can you take me to your employer?
5. Hang on, your weapon is broken. Hand it over, we'll fix it real quick.
6. You know break started fifty minutes ago right? Better go get lunch before your shift starts again!
7. What, they actually MADE you wear a formal guard uniform unlike the rest of us guards? Come on, get with the program, you look silly in that thing.
8. What are you doing wearing LAST season's camouflage? You stick out like a sore thumb, lemme fetch you another suit.
9. I'm not an intruder! Am I dumb enough to walk up to you under a cardboard box?
10. You're doing a great job, keep up the work!

11. Sorry, I'm the new janitor. I was told there was a mess in the reactor room.
12. Hey, your shoes are untied.
13. Don't mind me, just trying to figure out where I parked my car.
14. Mind if I test the sharpness of this knife for a moment?
15. Oh, I'm a new part-time guard; they didn't give me my armor yet.

16. Hey your wifes on the phone something about dinner reseverations
17. Have you seen my little boy I think he's lost
18. Hey *punches guards* Im goin now
19. Hey want a slice of my extra cheesy*coughpoisoncough* pizza
20. *to other guards* Everyone look out he has a gun :O