Insane RP Adventure!!

[Put on all those badges in your pocket to boost your stats]
[Stand and fight!]

{For Beat}

Beat puts on the badges in his pocket and feels an immense surge of energy. If the world ended with him, then he'd be fine because HE'S BADASS. He could take on anything and everything and OH SHIT ITS CHARGING RIGHT AT YOU!

[Attack]
[Fight]
[Stand there like a dummy]
[Realize you're probably still screwed and run away]
[Pull out your cheat phone and call someone]
[SAVE ME SANTA!}
[SAVE ME JESUS CHRIST!]
{SAVE ME SANTA CHRIST!}
[Do nothing]







{For Atriarch}

Atriarch steps into the other side. He sees several people fighting demonic shadow creatures while other harvest the purple cores that are left behind by the defeated enemies to power a force field. Uh oh, a shadow is behind you! The sky is covered with dark purple clouds and a flying island is high above, steadily coming closer with every passing second.

[Attack]
[Talk]
[Pull out your flashlight]
[Flee]
[SAVE ME SANTA!}
[SAVE ME JESUS CHRIST!]
{SAVE ME SANTA CHRIST!}
[...Yeah, my day sucks, how about yours?]
[Do nothing]

\[Attack]
-has not gotten a flash light yet-
Atriarch cocks his winchester rifle he got a few pages back.
"I hate the dark I hate the dark Ihatethedark"

{For Atriarch}

Atriarch fires the Winchester rifle

You shoot the Shadow Wraith Brute with your Winchester Rifle. BAM! (3 Melee Icons, 3 Fire Icons, 4 Earth Icons)

Total Damage Dealt: 80

The Shadow Wraith Brute fires an arrow at you with the Scythe of Eternal Darkness (2 Melee Icons, 2 Wind Icons)

The Shadow Wraith Brute attacks you with their Battle Bones!

-The Shadow Wraith Brute fights off your Melee attack with the Battle Bones!

Total Damage Dealt: 45

Shadow Wraith Brute defeated! You have won this fight!

[Claim prize]
[Look around]
[lolwut?]
[Leave this RPG crap and fire away]
[Where's the battle theme?]
[Do nothing]

[Pull out your cheat phone and call someone]
[SAVE ME SANTA!}

[Claim prize]
"woohoo! didn't have to use final hit or anything."

{For Beat}

Beat calls up Santa Claus. There is no reply...

"*BEEP* This is Santa's Help Line. If you are in need of assistance, press 1. If you're trying to pretend you were a good kid all year when you're compensating for being an ass in December, press 2. If you're the psychiatrist we called to get Santa out of his violent insanity, please GET HERE FASTER BEFORE HE SHOOTS MORE OF US.

...if you are not any of the above, please wait on the line until Santa can take you call. Merry Christmas, and hopefully happy new year!"

...Christmas music is playing on the other line.

[Attack]
[Fight]
[Stand there like a dummy]
[Realize you're probably still screwed and run away]
[Pull out your cheat phone and call someone]
[SAVE ME JESUS CHRIST!]
{SAVE ME SANTA CHRIST!}
[Do nothing]





{For Atriarch}

Atriarch beheads the Shadow Phantom and gains more powers. HUZZAH, HIGHLANDER!

...uh oh, looks like everyone's turned to stone. Just when things don't look like they could get worse, (because they can) the sorceress strikes her best Sephiroth pose and the flying faerie haven that was falling crashes into the ground in a blazing fiery mass of destruction. This is a plug in from Neopets?! DAMN THIS IS WAY BADASS FOR ITS SOURCE MATERIAL!

... oh yeah, we're all gonna die. Nice job, hero!

["Hey, excuuuuuuuuse me, princess!]
[challenge that betch]
[Flee like a school girl to your own world]
["I'm not going down without a fight...or without looting at least one store!"]
[Call for help on the phone]
[Join the dark side]
["Oro?"]
[Do nothing]

Xafiel stumbled down the steps as he departed the Druid's castle. He made a quick turn back to bid farewell to his good friend taking with him what he had first thought to be a bottle of odd tasting grape juice, almost empty, "Yooou've been one of my best buddies since I... I... I crashed around here. Was fuuunnnn knowin' ya' Drewy. We- we should meet up for parties like this again sometime."
With a slight sway in his step, he pushed the gates open and stepped across the moat. Almost aimlessly tossing a coin to one of the steam bots standing guard. "You've been doin' a great job standin' there. Keep up da' fiiine job an' such." He pulled the bottle up to his mouth and took the last few sips before discarding it into the moat with an offset toss.
"I'm gonna miss this place." With those words, he hailed a cab to head him off to some random destination.

{For Xafiel}

The cab drives for hours, his drunkenness cured (His hangover just kicking in) and he finds himself speaking to that Capoeira guy from Fatal Fury 3.

{PAO PAO CAFE 2}

Bob Wilson "Hey, you look like your a tough guy. Looking for a match??"

ROUND 1...FIGHT!

[fight]
[Talk]
[negotiate]
[surrender]
[punch him once and run away for the rest of the fight]
[Call for support]
[jump into another person's adventure]
[RUN AWAY!]
[Forget to tip the cab driver and cause him to go on a vehicular rampage]
[Do nothing]

[Do nothing]
"wait... what just happened?"

{For Atriarch}

Atriarch simply stands there as the world around him dies, all people turning to stone and fire consuming patches of grass which had not died yet. Apparently you were supposed to stop this from happening?

Suddenly you are pulled through a strange portal from behind, finding yourself at the doorstep of a small aging castle. Only about 2 stories tall (The balcony/tower goes up 3 stories high) and there is a bat statue with a long tail wrapping around the top spire. The full moon is huge, its starting to rain, the mud makes it hard to climb up the hills out of here, and there's loud howling. Werewolves?

[Enter the castle]
[Knock]
[Grab a fire ax and hack it down]
[Jump in through the windows]
[Try to get outta here]
[Uh oh, you're cell phone doesn't get reception here! Uh...wait, why is this an option?]

[Jump in through the windows]

[SAVE ME JESUS CHRIST!]

Beat: I MIGHT NOT REALLY BELIEVE IN YOU, BUT FOR THE LOVE OF GOD SAVE MY ARSE!!

{For Beat}

God "Oh PLEASE. Why is it everyone prays for us when they're screwed? Even NEOPETS just made a reference to questioning all-powerful god figures!"

And lemme tell ya, this is getting a lot into deeper themes than a kid would probably understand and ITS AWESOME AND TOO EPIC.

God "Yeah."

http://www.neopets.com/faerieland/tfr/comic.phtml?chapter=14

{I recommend you read the whole thing. Its interesting and really deviates from the idea that we have hope in the beginning to realizing we're probably gonna die. Way deep!}

Shameless plug in aside, WE'RE SCREWED, MAN!

[fight]
[Run in circles]
[Jump off the edge of the stained glass window]
[Negotiate]
[Surrender]
[SAVE ME, SANTA CHRIST!]
[Do nothing]





{For Atriarch}

Atriarch jumps into the window and smashes through an old wooden table as he lands. Inside he finds himself in a room illuminated by a candle (which fell off the table but is miraculously standing upright in its metal container on the floor). He stands up on uneven ground and sees multiple shelves of books, a portrait of the castle, two large banner-thingies with a fancy gold "E" on them, and doors to the left and right. He hears moaning from somewhere...

[Go left]
[Go righj]
[Look at the bookshelves]
[Grab the candle]
[Put the candle out]
[Jump out the window again]
[Wonder why the ground is so uneven]
[(Insert something funny here)]
[Go to sleep]
[Do nothing]

[Grab the candle]
"oh boy, not again."

{For Atriarch}

Atriarch grabs the nearby candle and suddenly the room looks like its perfectly lit with light fixtures and everything. The smashed desk has several notes and puzzles thrown about around it, and the books look like classic literature and research tomes...but he can't recognize any of the titles. "The Tale of Woe", "The Faeries' Ruin", "The Return of Dr. Sloth", "The War of Meridell"...yeah, strange stuff.

The ground beneath him is starting to move a little, but just enough to make it barely noticable.

[Look down]
[Get one of the books]
[Go to the door on the left]
[Go to the door on the right]
[Jump back out the window]
[Grab some of the notes and puzzles on the ground]
[Blow out the candle]
[Do nothing]

[Look down]
"this takes me back"
-Atriarch shields his mouth.-

{For Atriarch}

As Atriarch looks down at what he's standing on, he sees a green little thing wearing a ragged and torn purple house coat and his hands and feet covered with bandages. Wait...

*Looks at the guy in Alucard009's profile

This is Eliv Thade! Oh joy, you just jumped in through his window and landed on him. He is grumbling angrily and his hand holding the quill is shaking furiously (How does he even hold that thing without digits?)

[Stand up and help him up]
[Apologize but continue to stand on him]
[Curb stomp him]
[Jump off of him and right back out the window]
[Run to the door on the left]
[Run to the door on the right]
["Oro?" (Kenshin face)]
[Do nothing]

[Stand up and help him up]
"and now to put this thing in my inventory."

{Wait, I don't get what you mean by that. Putting the candle in your inventory, or putting Thade himself in it?}

(... both, at the same time!)

{For Atriarch}

Eliv Thade "H-hey! Just what do you think you're doing?! KERJ LIL ETG OUY!"

Atriarch shoves Thade into the mysterious cardboard box that only shows up when he needs to store things or get things he owns. With the candel in your inventory, its pitch black.

You stumble around the dark in search for light. As you walk you trip over something and hit your head

{Death}

Its a sad thing your adventures have ended here!!

NOT! You're alive, you just tripped over the desk you smashed since the wet ink made you slip. As you stand up, you see lightning quickly light the way.

[left]
[right]
[Out the window]
[Sit down and read his books]
[Let him out]
[Do nothing]

[Out the window]
"tally-ho!"
Atriarch jumps head first into the window in a Mario pose.

[freeze the sucker]
I probably won't get this oppurtunity again, so I'll freeze him up and start punching.

{For Atriarch}

Atriarch jumps out the window and...immediately slips and falls face first into the ground because its so damn wet and muddy.

"Well well, what have we here?"

Atriarch looks up and sees himself surrounded by large werewo-

"Hey! This is Neopia, you twit, we're Werelupes!"

>___> Okay, Were means human, so you're wrong in the long run, but fair enough. Massive Werelupes (wolves) are standing over him. A large fight ensues when they all jump and cartoon dust clouds fly everywhere until Atriarch is tied to a log and carried to their hideout past a giant skull they open with an artifact.

Their king, a dark furred large one sitting atop a bone pillar in a throne made of bones and skulls, looks down at him. They're in a cave with layers, and he's on the second overlooking everything as a mass of the Werelupes surround him.

Werelupe King "Heh heh heh, nice find. Hard to find an older human in Neopia, perhaps this one will provide a large enough meal."

The group laughs.

[Negotiate/talk]
[Break free]
[Curse loudly]
[Try to call for help]
[Pass out]
[Do nothing]





{For Altu}

Altu freezes the Big Daddy and starts punching him.

THUNK! DINK! CRACK!

OWIE! That ice didn't help his metal suit be any less hard. Perhaps you should try something else before he thaws? (Are big Daddies males? I mean, what if there's a Big Daddy girl? You can't tell, I mean what if one's a transvestite? I don't want to imagine a transvestite Big Sister >.>)