Insane RP Adventure!!

[Do stuff]

Beat: Ehh alright, I'm OK with this. I would like to buy one Gluttony Fang please.

{For Beat}

Shop Owner "Sure thing, here you DON'T GO. Unless you can magically make 600 extra money appear to pay for the 1200 price tag, then its not gonna happen, dummkopf."

...And you can't magically make money appear, so you'll have to find some chumps to beat up.

[Do stuff]
[Do nothing]

[Do stuff]

Beat: ARR!!

Beat, in his pirate like rage, kicked the counter towards the Shop Owner, and althought it seemed like it was very heave and bolted down, it fell over.

Beat: Ye will gimme yer gluttony fangs aye, ye silly landcrab?!

-gos to class room.-

{For Beat}

BATTLE!

Weapon Shop Owner
HP: 10000
Strength: 1000

Description: Lamp Oil, Rope, Bombs. You want it? GO TO HELL!

[Attack]
[Super attack 5]
[über attack 10]
[Item]
[Defend]
[Negotiate]
[Surrender]
[Run]
[Do nothing]




{For Atriarch III}

[In the classroom]

Billy Bob "Hey Atriarch, I heard your mom couldn't even use the food stamp to get rations. I bet you suck."

[Kick his ass]
[Insult him back]
[Kick him in the balls]
[Shoot him with your BB rifle]
[Crack him with the baseball bat]
[Crack him with the rifle and shoot him with the baseball bat]
[Be emo because its true]
[Run away]
[Do nothing]

"Alright, fight tim- Oh shiiiiahh!!" Xafiel ,excited by his first fight scene in the entire RP, was caught off guard by the sudden barrage of poisoned blades flying right at his face.

He quickly fell back against the castle's gate and slid to the floor, allowing the first set of three to crash above his head as he raised his two guns at his target. He fires off two shots to deflect two of the three knives in the lizardgirl's second attack with the third quickly scratching along his right shoulder, bringing along with it the burning sensation of the unknown poison. With a quick, instinctive reaction from that moment, he made a quick roll to his left as he made a near blind shot in the direction of his foe to hide behind the nearest conveniently placed crate, a classic cover in all shootouts.

{For Xafiel}

As Xafiel takes cover behind the barrel, he is caught by another dagger that is thrown at him, a loud sound of wood crashing behind him.

"You fool! Don't you know almost all barrels in evil medieval castles are destroyed by just about anything? And don't you also know its possible to attack someone behind crappy wooden cover? Noob."

The lizardgirl slinks up in front of Xafiel with light speed and blows a slew of cartoony love hearts at him.

[Run]

Beat: RUN, RUN FOR YOUR LIFE, FEET!

{For Beat}

Beat finds himself back out into the streets w-...Hey dood, you left your money inside!

[Go to weapon store]
[Clothing store]
[Armor store]
[Item Convenience Store]
[Pawn Shop]
[Start chaos]
[Go to sleep]
[Call up the Vegan Police with your cell phone for help]
[Do nothing]

[Insult him back]
"That is because Your mom ate everything in the Machine."

{For Atriarch III}

Billy Bob pulls out a knife and challenges Atriarch to a knife fight.

"You fight like a dairy farmer!"

[How appropriate. YOU fight like a cow]
[You run THAT fast?]
[I hope you've learned to stop picking your nose]
[Too bad no one's ever heard of YOU]
[So you got that job as a janitor after all]
[Your hemorrhoids are flaring up again?]
[I am rubber, you are glue]
[Oh yeah?!]
[Uh...I didn't quite catch that. Can you repeat it?]
[I surrender!]
[Shoot him]
[Run away]
[Do nothing]

Goddamnitbeatcantyoudoanythingright?!

[Call up the Vegan Police with your cell phone for help]

[approach] I go to get my wonderful free gold and make sure the scary golden sword is out just in case the dragon men come back.

"well your mother ate all the cows so I am out of the job!"
[pick up desk in self defense]

{For Beat}

The Vegan Police arrive in a blast of green light. They salute Beat and ask what the problem is.

[I need money]
[I need my money back]
[Help me, the shop keeper's a god modding S.O.B.]
[Sup doods?]
[I need a ride]
[Is it true you guys are super powerful because you're vegans?]
[Pull out the bass and rock out]
[Leave]
[Do nothing]








{For Atriarch III}

The kid stabs through the desk and loses his knife. He pulls out another knife, but it looks like you've got one yourself now.

"I got this scar during a mighty struggle!"

{Choose one of the following below}

[How appropriate. YOU fight like a cow]
[You run THAT fast?]
[I hope you've learned to stop picking your nose]
[Too bad no one's ever heard of YOU]
[So you got that job as a janitor after all]
[Your hemorrhoids are flaring up again?]
[I am rubber, you are glue]
[Oh yeah?!]
[Uh...I didn't quite catch that. Can you repeat it?]
[I surrender!]
[Shoot him]
[Run away]
[Do nothing]




{For Altu}

As Altu gets up to the gold, he sees everything looks fine. Take it or leave it?

[Oh yeah?!]
"I didn't know waking into the mirror was considered "A mighty struggle".

{For Atriarch III}

Class "...we don't get it?"

Billy Ray swings at Atriarch III.

Billy "My blade is famous throughout the Vault!"

{Choose from one of the below, Monkey Island style}

[How appropriate. YOU fight like a cow]
[You run THAT fast?]
[I hope you've learned to stop picking your nose]
[Too bad no one's ever heard of YOU]
[So you got that job as a janitor after all]
[Your hemorrhoids are flaring up again?]
[I am rubber, you are glue]
[Uh...I didn't quite catch that. Can you repeat it?]
[I surrender!]
[Shoot him]
[Run away]
[Do nothing]

[Uh...I didn't quite catch that. Can you repeat it?]

[I need my money back]

[take it] "DIBS!" as I leap into the chest a la Ducktales.

{For Beat}

Vegan Police "Leave everything to us!"

The Vegan Police charge into the weapon store and, after several green neon lasers later, he gets his money back. They salute and high five each other as they leave.

[Go to another place]
[Blast off INTO SPACE!]
[Do nothing]






{For Atriarch III}

Billy "Screw this."

Billy shoots Atriarch III in the face using V.A.T.S.

YOU ARE DEAD, DEAD, DEAD. YOU ARE DEAD, DEAD, DEAD.


{Back in modern times}

Atriarch stands up after a head injury and finds himself sitting in a room with a lone treasure chest. It seems to be shaking a bit.

[Open it]
[Poke it with a stick]
[Kick it]
[Kill it with fire]
[Run away!]
[Do nothing]





{For Altu}

ITS A TRAP! As Altu leaps at the chest, a rather hot chick dressed very scantily pops out from the treasure wearing the chest around her waist and grabs Altu, giving him a big hug.

Mimic "YAY! I have a boyfriend!"

She's hugging him pretty tightly. EASE UP PLEASE!

[Poke it with a stick]

[Go to another place]
[Go to the Armor store]

{For Beat}

Beat walks into the nearest...cosplay shop? Inside the shop there are different clothing and armor designs from many familiar anime and videogame characters. The man behind the counter looks like Vash the Stampede minus the gravity defying hair.

Shop owner "Ah, welcome to my cosplay shop! I sell great outfits and cosplay designs for reasonable prices! And the best part: All of them are battle-capable and offer real life protection! Special sale on TWEWY stuff today!"

Design your outfit!

Cheap: +2 Defense (300)
Authentic: +4 Defense (500)
Actual thing: +9 Defense (1000)

[Buy]
[Steal]
[Start robbery]
[Negotiate a deal]
[Talk]
[Leave]
[Do nothing]




{For Atriarch}

Atriarch pokes the chest with a stick and a rather cute chick comes out wearing the chest around her waist and smiling sweetly, her arms and legs covered with jewelry. She has medium length flowing blonde hair under a jewel encrusted crown.

Mimic "Oh boy! A cutey!"

The Mimic instantly clutches Atriarch and gives him a big hug.

[EEP!]
[Flail arms comically]
[Start making out with her]
[Uh...you're not jailbait, are you?]
[RUN AWAY! (or at least try, she's hugging you like all Hell)]
[Call Rey_JJJ for help NOW]
[Faint]
[Get a massive nosebleed and pass out from blood loss]
[Do nothing]

Xafiel begins flailing on the ground.
"Agh! Pain! Leg! Poison! Burning! Random hearts! Blinded!"

He picks up one of the metal rings used to bind the barrel that had exploded and became enraged.

"Dungeon Master!! What in the name of whatever generic deity is worshiped in this universe did you do to my crate?!" Xafiel began firing rapidly at the snake woman, not focusing on accuracy. He then took a random RPG (the gun, not the game genre) from his coat pocket and fired at the ground below his feat and jumped at the same time, using his knowledge of physics gained from years of Super Smash Brothers (the more damage you've taken, the farther you fly) to launch himself to the tower in the center of the castle to escape. As he flew, he turned his head towards the sky and began speaking to the DM. "When I get out of this castle, you are going down."